Archive for October 2012
We had a good weekend by the seaside. Clean air, wide open natural space. Very beautiful and peaceful. Turned off the phone, TV, internet. Just chilled, ate and meditated.
Relaxing was refreshing. Once I stop worrying about the big world, which I can’t change, and just live in my small world, I can feel free.
Eating fresh seafood was a treat. Had a lot of squids, shrimp, crabs, fish. These are hard to find and expensive in Bangkok.
During jogging on the sand or sitting on a beach chair, I calmed my mind and meditated. Reflected on the life I want to have. When I am done working, I will probably leave the city and go live somewhere closer to nature. Somewhere without traffic jams, pollution, crowds. Somewhere a slower life is normal.
Life is too unpredictable to wait for tomorrow. But sometimes you are stuck to obligations, tied to the decisions you made in the past. A dream must remain a dream for now.
This trip to Koh Kood (เกาะกูด), which was really good, was arranged by Nan. Other travel mates were Noot, Kaew, and Ploy.
After the weekend trip, I went back to the hospital for a sepsis follow-up. Blood ESR went down from 35 to 23, which is just slightly above what normal people should have. It means there is very little inflamation remaining. Have a couple more doctor appointments to go to. After these, this long therapy should be over.
The day after I went to the hospital, I got a slight fever. Warm watering eyes and sore throat. Took some paracetamol and fa thalai jone, drank water, slept a lot, and got out in the sun. It helped and the fever subsided.
My status is still far from healthy. My plan for a 5k event next Sunday is cancelled as the pain is still existent. Also I’m dealing with a new symptom, which I expect to write about later. Whatever happens happens.
Last Sunday I biked, today I jogged with Nan for 2.4 km. Slow and easy. Almost 30 min. Not 100% yet but good to be out there.
We are targeting a 5 km event on 4 Nov. Hope to make it.
Yesterday, 14 oct 2012, we went to Rot Fai Park (สวนรถไฟ). Nan and Marty ran, while I biked. This park, located near Chatuchak and Sirikit parks, is bicycle friendly. One lap is 2.65 km. The weather was nice and cool due to last night rain.
It has been 2 full months since my last run. Bicycling was gentle to the legs. It was fun to be moving without pain.
I’ve been careful with my spending, limiting it to only the necessary (food, bills, transportation, consumable household items, and medicine). The only item I “bought to own” since my 35th birthday (1 Sep) was a wooden chopping block. It can be useful for heavy chopping or mincing meat.
Now I focus on only owning useful things. Last Sunday we did some house cleaning. Donated many old books to charity. Sure they still have values, but I don’t read them anymore. So, away they went. Giving things away makes me feel better than buying things.
The other thing I’ve been learning to control is my emotion. Trying to avoid extreme highs or lows. It’s to calm the mind. For example, there were fears in the early stage of the illness. But now I don’t get frustrated by it anymore. It’s normal to get sick. I’m at peace with whatever happens, either to myself or my loved ones.
Since I can’t get joy from running, my hobby has turned to cooking. I still treat myself occasionally to nice restaurants, but I’m mindful about it. Nan is a better cook than me but I have more time to do it these days. So I’m the main cook at home. It feels good to know exactly what go into my body. Cooking also helps me control my appetite. I choose ingredients that are nutrient dense and satiating. I eat three big meals per day and don’t snack in between. Mindful eating is especially important in this period of inactivity.
Found a 2-foot-long green snake in the garden yesterday. I don’t know how to deal with snakes so I called for help. A volunteer from Ruamduay (ร่วมด้วยช่วยกัน) kindly helped us remove the snake. Very grateful for that.
London Marathon 2013 lottery result just came out. Didn’t get in. Well, I’m not feeling too disappointed. Lots of people applied, so I had little chance. Can’t run yet anyway. Walked on treadmill the other day for a bit to see how the leg felt. Not feeling right yet.
My aunt-in-law is in hospital due to a broken leg. She fell down stairs. We went to visit her last weekend. She gets a surgery this week and will stay in the hospital for quite a while. She seemed to be dealing with the situation in good spirits. Often, bad stuff just happens.
Carl’s Jr just opened a branch in Bangkok. It was one of my favorite places to eat when I was still in the States. That was a long time ago. Not feeling like visiting any time soon, now that my eating habit has changed a lot. I used to never cook and have an unhealthy relationship with fast food. Now I rarely eat out, and when I do, I am picky. I still love burgers. They are just home-made now.
People often get emotionally attached to the foods they ate when they were kids. Some of those foods aren’t really good for health. Recognizing this fact and breaking free from those foods can be challenging.
Read a news article the other day about a 107 years old. One of her tips is to never look back. That’s a good reminder. Sometimes you get emotional or feel regretful when reminiscing. It is pointless. It’s not useful to look ahead either, I think. In the past, when I looked too far in the future and chased external goals, the chase never seemed to end and I was never satisfied.
I start each day now imagining it could be my last day and just try to make it a happy day.