When I got sick last year, it was terrible in the beginning. I felt like I could die, with pains everywhere in my body. Five days in bed pretty much powerless, I was in full acceptance mode. I learned to be stoic about things outside my control. Whatever happens, happens. I had lots of time to think about life and death.
I feel I am satisfied with life. I have done things I wanted to do. I pursued my passions (learning and running). I don’t have unfulfilled goals.
I am grateful that my life is relatively free of worries. I have no financial burden. I don’t like owning things beyond necessities and be burdened. My health is not perfect but it’s good enough to allow me to do things I want to do.
I am happy to live life one day at a time. It’s enough for me to wake up next to my wife, find good food to eat, learn new things, and enjoy small pleasures each day. One day, it will all be gone and that is all right.
Being in that hospital gave me a new perspective on life. I can die today feeling at peace, as there is nothing else in life I seek.
On Saturday I went to a temple for a funeral of my high school teacher. He was a very fine person. We haven’t met in probably almost twenty years after I graduated. I went there to pay my respect, say my last goodbye, and contemplate my own death.